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DEAR DEIDRE: THERE’S no point in me even trying to start a relationship.
I have only had two serious boyfriends and they both finished with me after six months when they realised I’d never have sex with them.
I’m 29 and haven’t been physically intimate with a partner . . . although I wish I could.
I really liked my exes, but the thought of having sex with them terrified me.
I would shake with fear and panic.
I’m not sure why I reacted this way but sex is out of the question for me.
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Nevertheless, I’d love to have a relationship.
Is there any way I could find a man who isn’t interested in sex either?
If not, I think I’m destined for a very lonely life.
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DEIDRE SAYS: Some people are asexual – they experience little or no sexual attraction – but that isn’t the case with you.
You would like to get intimate, but are extremely anxious.
A fear of sex is called “genophobia” or “erotophobia”.
This is a condition that can cause intense fear or panic when sexual intimacy is attempted.
There are many different causes of genophobia including early abuse or a fear of underperforming.
It would certainly help you to see a counsellor to unravel this fear so you can enjoy sex and have a fulfilling relationship.
Please contact COSRT (cosrt.org.uk), which can put you in touch with a reputable sexual and relationship counsellor.
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