A HEARTBROKEN mum has opened up on coming to terms with the devastating stillbirth of her son Bertie. Hannah Read Baldrey, 41, from London, has
A HEARTBROKEN mum has opened up on coming to terms with the devastating stillbirth of her son Bertie.
Hannah Read Baldrey, 41, from London, has spoken out on her stillbirth and is campaigning to help other mums-to-be.
Hannah was told the heart-breaking news at 36 weeks pregnant that she had lost her baby boy[/caption]
At 36 weeks pregnant, Hannah was looking forward to taking a few weeks off to get ready for the birth of her second child, Bertie.
She already had a son called Teddy and was looking forward to giving him a brother.
Hannah explained: “I’d been having a difficult time with hyperemesis – extreme pregnancy-related sickness – for months but had finally started to feel more normal again.”
It was a Friday afternoon in March 2018 and the stylist and craft author was on a food shot.
Everyone was joking that she was going to give birth there and then.
Apart from the constant sickness, Hannah’s pregnancy and scans had been normal.
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But all of a sudden, that afternoon, she started to feel strange.
She said: “It was like I’d had a sudden rush of hormones, that feeling you get when your period is about to start.”
With Hannah’s first pregnancy, her son Teddy, now seven, didn’t want to come out, meaning shehad a C-section.
Hannah had never experienced Braxton Hicks contractions and didn’t know what to expect when giving birth.
This caused Hannah to start panicking that labour was imminent, so she rushed home to pack for the hospital, but when she got home, the feeling went away.
She was aware that there was less movement but wasn’t too concerned, and neither was her husband Brendan, 41.
Hannah has revealed that she was then told something that was utterly heartbreaking.
She said: “But at the scan, it was a complete shock when the sonographer paused, turned to me and said, “Your baby isn’t moving – it happens.”
“Those awful words were the way I found out my baby boy, Bertie, had died in the womb.”
Hannah was devastated when she was told “Your baby isn’t moving – it happens”[/caption]
The umbilical cord had wrapped around her baby boy’s neck three times and had tied into a “true knot” – a knot so tight it cannot be loosened by itself.
Hannah said: “My baby had been asphyxiated in my womb and I was being told “it happens”.
“It seemed unreal. It’s like you’ve been run over.”
Hannah was then taken to a side room and a doctor told her that she needed to give birth to the baby.
Hannah has desperately wanted to have a vaginal birth with Bertie but not this way so she said she wanted a C-section.
The doctor advised against it and she couldn’t really believe the situation she found herself in.
Two specialist bereavement midwives then came in and cleared everyone out of the room.
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Hannah said: “They knew exactly what to say and what to do, and made everything so much better.”
Hannah was then taken to see the surgeon and her parents had arrived to support her.
Hannah explained how she could feel Bertie moving so she asked the surgeon to double-check that her baby had gone.
He explained that displaced water and air in the womb can make it feel that way.
She then had a general anaesthetic and her husband Brendan was there as the baby was delivered.
Hannah said: “Coming round afterwards, it felt as if I was waking up from a dream.
“But it was real and my baby wasn’t there. It was horrific.”
Hannah with her daughter Posey[/caption]
Hannah saw Bertie twice afterwards as the hospital keeps stillborn babies in special cold cots that preserve them.
The first time she saw him, she screamed.
Hannah explained: “Going home without the baby you have longed for is the hardest thing.”
Her son Teddy had been so excited about having a brother and Hannah had the tough job of explaining that he wasn’t coming home but he couldn’t understand.
After a stillbirth, there are practical things to do – like registering the death and moving your baby to a crematorium.
The charity, SiMBA, provides a memory box with two crocheted squares, so you don’t go away empty-handed.
One of them was cremated with Bertie and the other one is always on Hannah’s table.
Hannah has opened up on the tough, long recovery process.
She said: “It was like walking through mud and there were some very dark times for me and Brendan, but we decided early on that we’d try for another baby.”
Six months after the couple lost Bertie, they were overjoyed to discover they were pregnant with their daughter Posey, now two.
Hannah is passionate about campainging for better midwife care and wants every pregnant woman to know the importance of counting kicks.
Hannah wants to reinforce the message that your baby’s kicks don’t slow down in the final weeks and be aware of the number of kicks.
Hannah with her husband Brendan, son Teddy and daughter Posey[/caption]
Meanwhile, people constantly say I look too young to be a mum, some even think I’m TWELVE when I don’t wear any makeup.
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