DEAR DEIDRE: WHY does my controlling girlfriend keep me as her dirty little secret? I’m a woman of 21 and she’s 24. I only came out a couple of
DEAR DEIDRE: WHY does my controlling girlfriend keep me as her dirty little secret?
I’m a woman of 21 and she’s 24. I only came out a couple of years ago and this is my first proper relationship.
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None of her friends know about me and she doesn’t want to meet my friends, either.
Whenever I suggest it, she says she would rather spend the evening just with me and makes me feel guilty for wanting to see other people.
She says she should be “enough” for me and does not even like it whenever I talk on the phone to someone else.
If I have a haircut or buy a new dress, she gets angry that I didn’t consult her about it.
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She’ll put me down and say it looks awful.
Even though she can be lovely, I’m starting to worry this relationship is really bad for me.
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DEIDRE SAYS: It might be that she is keeping you secret because her friends do not know she is gay.
But that doesn’t explain her other behaviour, which does sound controlling and abusive. My support pack Abusive Partner explains more and has sources of support.
Listen to your gut. If you do not feel comfortable, you need to think about leaving, as things are only likely to get worse.